When I look at my own life, I feel that it is not easy to survive by writing the truth, he writes
Veteran journalist Bibhuranjan Sarkar sent an email to bdnews24.com at 9:15 am on 21 August, the day he went missing. There, he wrote, ‘You can publish this as my last piece of writing.”
His writing is precisely presented here:
I am Bibhuranjan Sarkar, and I work in the editorial section of Ajker Patrika. My relationship with journalism spans more than five decades. I have witnessed various changes, movements, mass movements, and political ups and downs in the country. During this long time, I have written for the truth, for the people, and for the country. But today, when I look at my own life, I feel that it is not easy to survive by writing the truth.
My profession has taught me that revealing the truth means taking risks with audacity. During my student life, serving as the co-secretary of the central committee of the Bangladesh Students’ Union, I learned that sometimes one has to keep one’s name secret. To publish the truth, one's life needs to be put at risk. During the Ershad period, and in various political movements, it was not possible to write without courage. We, journalists like me, used pseudonyms, not for any personal interest, but for our safety.
During the Liberation War, my position was obvious: standing for liberation meant being committed to the country. In my area, people who made no contribution to the Liberation War have secured and are still securing freedom fighter certificates to gain benefits. I did not choose that path.
I became involved in journalism while I was a school student. I started my profession as a local reporter for the Dainik Azad. In school, large articles were published in Azad under our names. My involvement in left-wing politics also began in school. My political ideals and journalistic integrity never drove me toward personal pleasure. My only ambition was a sense of duty. I have never knowingly ignored my duty. I have not avoided my work. I might not be a very brave person, but no one could force me to write something by intimidating me. Of course, a few years ago, Nayeemul Islam Khan ingeniously charmed me into writing a commendation for his wife, Monti Apa!
In today’s time, the challenges of journalism are different. Many people write by concealing the truth for benefits, personal gain, social status, or financial interests. Although I have hidden my name, I have never hidden the truth. That is perhaps why, even after more than five decades in this profession, I don’t receive a respectable salary. I don’t want to embarrass anyone by stating my current salary. However, I have heard that my departmental head's salary is almost double what I draw. Oh, if only I could have gotten a job with that salary, I might not have had to choose the profession of constantly borrowing money to run my family! Excluding all other expenses, my monthly medicine cost alone is Tk20,000-22,000. I might have even understated it a bit! I have so many diseases, including arthritis, liver cirrhosis, diabetes, and heart disease! I have had to borrow so much money for the treatment of arthritis and liver problems. My son is also ill, and he has regular treatment expenses. So, there is no way out but borrowing.
During Sheikh Hasina’s tenure, many people have received numerous benefits under various identities. At one point, forgetting my shame, I also applied for help from Sheikh Hasina but received no result. Many journalists got plots. I applied twice and was not successful. I've heard that many people have changed their fate by writing books about Bangabandhu and Sheikh Hasina. Yet, for two books published by Agami Prokashoni, I haven't received even Tk 2 in royalties. This is what you call fate! But yes, I once had the opportunity to go to Singapore as a companion of Sheikh Hasina. I received some pocket money for that trip. But that was only enough to buy the coat, pants, and shoes, and it even put me further into debt. Thanks to that, I bought my coat, tie, and shoes! I spent my whole life wearing sandals.
Just for my unwavering stance in favour of the Liberation War and non-communal democratic politics, I have given the 'Awami tag’ still today. But even in the Awami period, I received no tangible reward. I didn't get a plot, nor a good job. Instead, being jobless for a long time has increased my debt. Health problems and family responsibilities constantly keep me under pressure.
I have been working at Ajker Patrika for four years now. During this time, I have had no promotion and no salary increase. Meanwhile, the prices of goods are rising every day. How can a newspaper stand for justice when there is injustice within its own home?
Tarikh Ibrahim was one of the writers who made the weekly Jaijaidin popular. I used to write under that name to protect myself from Ershad’s wrath. After he left power, when we met a couple of times, Ershad treated me with respect as a 'countryman.'
I have worked at Dainik Sangbad, weekly Ekota, and Dainik Rupali. I have personally edited the weekly 'Chaltipatra'. I have served as the executive editor of a weekly named 'Mridubhashan'. I also held the responsibility of editing a daily called 'Dainik Matribhumi'. At one time, my articles were regularly published in almost all of the country's daily newspapers and online portals. When Dainik Janakantha was at its peak of popularity, my commentary reports were printed on the first page.
Yet now, when I send articles to some newspapers and request their publication, I get no result. They say my writing no longer 'sells' to readers.
At one time, many famous people would call me after reading my work and praise me. I received praise from Principal Dewan Mohammad Azraf and Principal Saidur Rahman. I received praise from so many people like the politician Oli Ahad, Professor Muzaffar Ahmad, the writer Professor Shaukat Osman, Dr. Rongalal Sen, and Professor Dr. Ajay Roy. Abdul Mannan Bhuiyan, a former secretary-general of the BNP, also affectionately encouraged me to write. Oh yes, Dr. Muhammad Yunus also called me himself at least twice to talk about my writing. Of course, such a common matter is probably not in his memory now. Today, they say my writing doesn't attract readers. It could be, perhaps the weight of age has made my writing lighter.
I have written thousands of articles, both with and without my name. But I have received very little payment. Some newspapers didn't even bother to pay me a single taka even after I wrote for them for several years. In that respect, online portals are much better. A large online portal still owes me a significant amount of money.
Yet now, my daily life begins with taking medicine, getting health check-ups, and worrying about money to buy medicine.
Meanwhile, after the change in government last year, the state of the media has become even more pathetic. The Chief Adviser has said that we can criticize openly. But his press department is not so open-minded. Media executives are always in a state of panic. They worry about when they will receive a phone call regarding a piece of news or an article. They then have to remove the article or news! In this context, the online department of 'Ajker Patrika' was given a stern warning for one of my articles. There was also a strong reprimand for an article by Mazharul Islam Babla. What did Babla write that was so objectionable? He wrote that the army sent Sheikh Hasina to Delhi in a military helicopter. And that not just police bullets, but militants also killed people through a meticulous design. Where is the false information here? Did Sheikh Hasina hire a helicopter and flee secretly? Hasina's police might have killed students and the public, but who killed the police? It is absolutely inappropriate to threaten a newspaper for writing this much.
All in all, my situation at the newspaper is very precarious. The kind-hearted acting editor, unable to bear the pressure, has stopped talking to me.
What do I do now? Which path do I walk?
I write because I knew journalism meant courage. Publishing the truth means risking your life. Over five decades of experience tell me that to write the truth, one sometimes has to lose personal comfort. I never sought such comfort. But I also never wanted to live by begging for my entire life.
My journalist friend Mahbub Kamal thinks I have some major problem. Otherwise, he now leads a relatively safe life, so why has my uncertainty not been resolved? Indeed, why is my poverty not alleviated? Mahbub Bhai received land from Sheikh Hasina and also received cash for treatment on two separate occasions. Moreover, his countless fans around the world donate to him generously on so many occasions. If he needs a few lakhs for treatment, he gets a few crores. My fate is bad. I have no fans. However, if I were to say I don't get any loans, it would be a lie. It's because I have a few random kind-hearted people that I'm still alive.
And look, Mahbub Kamal has two sons. They have also passed the test of success like their father and are doing well in jobs both at home and abroad. And I have one daughter and one son. They are bright students, but...
Why am I writing about Mahbub Kamal out of so many people? Because I played a very small part in his current position! I influenced Shafiq Rehman to bring him from Patgram to Dhaka to work at Jaijaidin. By writing at Jaijaidin, he is now a world-class journalist.
I am a small person. My mind is also narrow. So everyone might hold a grudge against me. But I don't harbor the slightest resentment towards anyone. Because I don't have the ability to help anyone, I don't even think about harming anyone in my dreams. I am aware of my own limitations. I know very well that I am a person with very little knowledge and understanding.
In my family, besides my wife, I have two children: one daughter and one son. My children are also a bit simple-minded like me. They are out of place in the current era. My daughter is the elder one. She has never failed an exam in her life. She became a doctor. She passed the BCS exam and also got a job. While doing her MD in gastroenterology, she got caught at the last moment. After the change of government, my talented daughter failed her thesis exam due to her departmental head's wrath. Yet, she is not involved in any politics. She has passed the clinical exam, and now she is waiting for her thesis again. And who knows which remote area she will be posted to now!
My son passed MME from BUET. He also got a scholarship to America but couldn't go in time due to some physical problems. My son was afflicted with Guillain-Barre syndrome at the age of four and survived after struggling with life and death for several months. I endured the burden of his expensive treatment. After passing from BUET, he has passed so many job exams in the country, but his appointment has not been confirmed yet. I can't understand if his name is the crime, or if I am, as his father.
I don't even know very well why I am writing this open letter. But for a few days now, my ears have been hearing an omen of bad luck. My mind also feels restless. Mahbub Kamal wanted to help me financially but turned away in anger because of some behavior of mine.
Finally, I cannot help but express my gratitude to Prothom Alo Editor Matiur Rahman. I was a colleague of Mati Bhai at Ekota. He was the one who spoke to Shafiq Rehman and got me involved with Jaijaidin. He was fond of me and trusted me. He asked me to join his newspaper (then Bhorer Kagoj). He even came to my house. But at that time, I didn't want to leave Jaijaidin. This was the biggest mistake of my life. Moti Bhai, please forgive me if you can.
There is no success story in my life. As a journalist, I couldn't hold on to any strong branch by hopping from one to another. I have a major deficiency somewhere. And I couldn't overcome this deficiency.
Let sorrow be the last companion of my life. And may all beings on earth be happy.
